When we gather in a live session, in the group chat, or really anywhere, we are practicing something harder than a pose. We are practicing being with each other without rushing in to fix anything.
These are the ground rules for how we chat, how we post, and communicate. They are short on purpose. Most of them come down to one idea: speak from your own experience, and let other people have theirs.
Share from your experience
Say what was true for you. "This is a book that was helpful to me."
What to leave out: advice, fixing, and solving another member's challenge for them. That includes should language. "You should read this book." "I know what you need to do to change your experience."
Be present
Be all in. Be ready for action. Practice present-moment self-observation. Feel in your own body what another member is describing, while staying with yourself.
What to leave out: multitasking during a live session. Floating in and out of the conversation and then commenting in the chat.
Listen deeply, listen compassionately
Let yourself relate to the person speaking.
What to leave out: labels and judgments. "It sounds like you are in a victim mindset."
Stay open, stay ready to learn
Come to implement, not just to hear. "I learned from what you shared, Mary."
What to leave out: listening only to confirm what you already know. "I have heard this before" instead of "Am I implementing this to my next level potential?"
Be persistent about getting your needs met
Reach out. If a question of yours goes unanswered, tag Tiffany.
What to leave out: withdrawing because your needs are not being met. Feeling badly and never raising the difficulty on the forum or with Admin.
Be inclusive, stay curious
Curiosity about your own experience keeps the door open for everyone else. "I can relate when you talk about your mother."
What to leave out: judging the experience another member is having. "I know what you need to do to change your experience."
Notice the urge to problem-solve
This one asks the most. Watch the way discomfort makes you want to fix things for other people.
It sounds like this: "I notice my mind is racing with how can I make this better thoughts, looking for solutions. Let me just feel what is being said."
What to leave out: solving another member's problem. Suggestions built out of your own history, like "You should see a therapist."
Why it is worth the effort
Every rule here points the same direction. Advice closes a conversation. Presence keeps it open.
When someone shares something tender and the room reaches for a solution, the sharing stops. When the room simply receives it, the person who spoke gets to keep going, and everybody else gets to feel what came up in them while listening. That is the practice.
If something here is unclear, or if you are carrying a difficulty you have not raised, tag me in the chat or reach out to me in any way that feels comfortable.