We all play many different roles and have many labels in our life; sister, mother, teacher, or, the funny one, the empathetic one, the sweet one. We can become attached to these roles and labels and they can define us, so when someone doesn't see us in that light, it can be devastating. Without these roles or labels who are you? When you are no longer 'something,' who are you? Try the following contemplation and see where it takes you!
Who am I? Contemplation Practice
- Grab a pen & paper, find a quiet space & begin to slow down and deepen your breath.
- Ask yourself what roles do you play in your life? Are you an adventurer? A photographer? etc. Write them down.
- Ask yourself what labels do you or others attach to you? e.g. The pretty one, the smart one. Write these down.
- Sit with them & feel the emotions attached to each one. Do you feel proud to be a mother? Special because people think you're the helpful one? Take note. Sit with the ones that bring up stronger emotions first and really delve in. Maybe you only sit with one per contemplation practice. Experiment. Ask yourself the question aloud or start journalling, whatever works for you.
- Then ask the question, 'Who am I if I'm not ______?' E.g. Who am I if I'm not a friend? Who am I if I'm not the funny one? You may feel sad, upset, lost, etc., but try and sit with all your emotions and allow them to be, without trying to push them away.
Example (edited): Who am I if I'm not the funny one?… I have nothing to say. I don't know how to be. I don't know who I am. I am nothing if I don't have this. I am sad. I have no control over this… Do you expect this from me???... Expectations. If I am not the funny one, then you will not expect me to be a certain way. NEITHER WILL I... No expectations means no disappointments... Oh yes, I am nothing. I am anything. I am free!
Non-attachment
Being attached to roles and labels can be very limiting; others expect you to be a certain way and you also have expectations on yourself. When your mind starts to become less attached see what happens for you. You may feel a little lighter, as expectations and disappointments can be very demanding and binding. When you continue this contemplation practice you may begin to feel more expansive and free! This may not happen right away but starting the practice will keep you on the path to unveiling who you truly are, your essence, and, help you become unattached to your egoic thoughts!