Tiffany Wood Yoga

3 Steps to Stop an Argument

People often react defensively to differences with others rather than responding with gratitude for the gift the contrast is providing. In their defensiveness, they lose connection with their own truth and connection to Source wisdom. From a Tantric yoga perspective, acknowledging differences with others as beneficial is where yoga leaps off the mat and into our lives.

When these beneficial differences are active in our interactions with others, we often interpret the gap as a problem. This pulls us away from safety and into fight, flight or freeze.

Humans have been programmed to believe that we must get others to agree with us instead of seeking mutual understanding. We act out rather than connecting to the wisdom that lies within.

The reason people argue is because they have stepped away from their center and have forgotten their connection to their power. Straying from the Truth - Satya- of their inherent nature as a being of pure Consciousness and Bliss - Chit Ananda- results in a right and wrong mindset rather than seeing Unity within Diversity and seeking understanding of other. 

Fortunately, yogis have experienced the felt-sensation of being in alignment with SELF. We can build on this skill rather than being defensive when communications go awry. We must choose to allow the contracting energies of difference to be present while staying connected to our vibrational alignment. The yoga off the mat then becomes what John Kinyon of Mediate Your Life calls a SELF-CONNECTION PRACTICE. 

Self-Connection thru Breath-Body-Need brings us back into alignment with true Source Energy and we don’t feel like fighting or fleeing, and certainly don’t freeze due to lack of access to the power of love. As we stay in our center by honoring our breath and attuning to our needs, we direct the interaction in ways that keep us connected and accountable to our power instead of fighting against the person we feel took our power away!

We don’t take things personally when we are in alignment with SELF; we see value in everything that comes our way. When we’re not in alignment with SELF, we need everything to agree with us reflecting back that we’re okay. When we know what we need in any “right now,” we can skillfully respond from Self-Connection rather than reacting to the activated differences between us and others. 


  1. Breath: Slow and deepen your breath (especially in times of challenging situations)
  2. Body: Feel the sensation(s) expressed in your body.
  3. Need: Identify the need that you would like to have met right now. Make decisions and requests based on what your need reveals as the next step!

~ Click Here for a list of Universal needs/values 


  1. Set aside practice sessions; just like your asana practice
  2. During transitions between activities
  3. During activities
  4. When you are experiencing intensity between you and others

Reference: Mediate Your Life by John Kinyon.

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